If you have the pleasure of following me on Twitter, you probably saw this tweet, a couple days ago:

If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you should, I’m pretty funny. Anyways, a lot of people have been asking for the full story so I figured I should share with the world, because why don’t I want the entire world to know my awkward and embarrassing stories.

Picture this: 8th grade Sarah, full of wonder and totally boy crazy. Obsessed with any guy who played sports (particularly football and lacrosse) and way too aware of my lack of being kissed and ever being talked to by a boy even though I was 13 and no girl is ever talked to by boys at that age and it was 60000% normal. Bring in Bryan* (names have been changed for the sake of my dignity and honestly theirs). He was tall, he played lacrosse AND football (JACKPOT), he was super nice, and he was friends with some of my friends, it was truly the perfect recipe for a classic schoolgirl crush. I had a crush on Bryan for the better part of 8th grade, would talk about few things other than him. I would refer to him as Giraffe so that no one would know who I was talking about, although in a small school like mine, I’m sure kids had me figured out.

If you didn’t have the pleasure of going to Wakefield Public Schools, then you did not get to experience the hype that is 8th grade final dance, or Final as we all call it. Final is during the last few weeks of school and its super exclusive, only 8th graders at the Galvin Middle School can be in attendance, super VIP. Its the talk of the town for all of the 8th graders and everyone tries to snatch up dates as quickly as possible, seeing as it was really the only dance in middle school that was socially acceptable to bring a date to. This is where my story begins.

It was a chilly spring day and I was sitting criss-cross-applesauce in my queen sized bed, my golden retriever, Brady, at my feet. This is all lies, I remember literally 0 of the details other than the main points, and I have always had a twin bed and never had the dog of my dreams. Anyways. After spending basically a full year pining after Bryan, and my friends convincing me I should, I decided that I was going to ask him to Final. Issue was, I didn’t have his phone number. Facebook messenger it was.

I thought because I had messaged him on Facebook, that today, in 2018, I would still have the receipts, but alas, they have been deleted so you cannot laugh at the horrid awakardness that I deemed flirting. I messaged him, probably something stupid like “hey” and then continued on to ask him to final dance, again probably something stupid. His answer, as you have all probably guessed, huge phat NO. He told me that he wanted to ask someone else. Okay, whatever, a bruised ego never killed anyone. THE STORY DOES NOT END HERE.

He ended up asking one of my BEST friends, Alyssa* (again, name has been changed, duh, I’m not that big of an idiot).

YEAH. SO. One of my best friends. When she told me this I went into straight panic mode. The world was ending. Everything was over. I was dying. I am not the least bit overdramatic, how DARE you accuse me of such a thing

Thank my LORD JESUS that Alyssa said no. *Queue True Friend by Hannah Montana* She was a real homie. We aren’t friends anymore, just grew apart, but I truly will never forget her for that. If you know who you are and you’re reading this, thanks a million. Anyways, so Alyssa said no to Bryan and he was super butthurt. My memory has him not going to the dance at all but upon further investigation, aka stalking his Facebook, he was there. I must’ve just ignored him.

I still ended carrying this crush for SEVERAL years, well into high school. Again, he was tall and sweet, even though he stopped playing sports midway through high school. I grew out of it towards the end of sophomore year, honestly, it would’ve been earlier, but he was in my biology class. He has since gone gray (I know, I’m honestly sad for him), and unfortunately had his peak during those formative years of middle school when I was crushing the hardest. I, however, like to think that I had an amazing and wonderful glow up that has high school coming of age story writers hard in their pants.

So that’s that, one of my more embarrassing stories. I can laugh at it now, but it truly felt like the end of the world back then. Fortunately for me, I’ve had many other boys reject me that I have forgotten all about Bryan and the Final dance (obviously, seeing as I just wrote an entire blog post about it).