New Year’s resolutions are for suckers, but here are my January Goals.

“Woah, woah, woah, but Sarah, I made a New Year’s resolution! I’m not a sucker!”

I know, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to call my readers suckers, BUT did you know that about 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February? You probably already saw all the memes and jokes about the gym being crowded this week. You know deep down that resolutions don’t last, and it’s not just you! New Year’s resolutions are everyone’s attempts to pretend they’re actually going to better themselves in the next 12 months, but we all know it never works. Why don’t they work? They’re too long!  A year is 365 days and broad goals like “eat better” and “go to the gym more” just don’t work long term like that. Can you really picture yourself sitting here sight not on January 2nd (it was January 2nd when I wrote this, but idk when this will actually be posted so stay with me) and say for the next 365 you will do something? I can’t even say that I’ll wake up a certain time every single day for the next year! SMART goals are real ladies and gents and they are fierce.

If your resolutions or goals don’t fit into this perfectly gift wrapped SMART goals package, it’s going to be HARD to keep them intact. So instead of a New Years Resolution, I’m going to be giving myself monthly goals. 28-31 days. 4 weeks. That’s not that hard when you really break it down.

Sober January

This is less about health and more about money and hangovers. On New Year’s Eve I spent $31 on stuff to drink, didn’t end up that drunk, and was curled up in a ball with tiny elves banging hammers on my skull all day on January 1st. When I tell you I was hungover all day, I am not exaggerating. I took 2 naps and then proceeded to lay on my friend’s couch for 2 hours after she bribed me to hang out with a milkshake. I was in bed asleep before 10 pm. Drinking is just not worth that? When I go to the bars in Boston I spend $7~ to uber there, then $10 for a cover, then probably $50-$60 on drinks, toss in $15 for Saus poutine or $8 for a street sausage, and then finally the $10+ uber ride home. That’s stupid money for me to spend the next day in pain not able to think straight! I figured January was the perfect time to start. I don’t have any concerts or big planned events, it’s too cold to trek into Boston, and I don’t live at school anymore so there won’t be many temptations. If all works well we’ll move sober January into sober February, but we’ll see.

No More Buying Lunch

Back on the money thing. I’m really bad with my money. I like to spend for convenience and I don’t care who knows. I buy myself treats and clothes and whatever I want with no thought about savings or the future. I’m now realizing that this is horrendous and I must be stopped. So we’re going back to meal prepping. I haven’t meal prepped truly for a few months, and my wallet is feeling it. My debit card is crying for help and I just keep swiping away. So, no more buying lunch at work. I got a brand spanking new Patriot’s lunch box for Christmas and I intend on using it. Just an FYI I literally just ordered lunch today. But in my defense, I was hungover yesterday and didn’t want to make anything. But with sober January, that will no longer be an issue. BOOM.

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