LA, LA, Baby

This past weekend I packed up my shit and flew off to LA to visit my friend Geneva and I had a few thoughts!!!! The god damn city of angeles man… The west coast is a whole different beast.

Sarah’s In and out rating:
– burger: 7/10 – Not super greasy, but just greasy enough. PERFECT Cheese ratio honestly. BIG fan of the bun.
– fries: 2/10 – These fries were the most aggressively sub par french fries I have ever had in my life… they honestly tasted like cardboard. I had them plain so that might have been the issue, but honestly, I don’t know if anything could’ve fixed them.
– shake: 7/10 – she was THICK, like tip her upside down and she wouldn’t spill thick.

– Everyone has really nice cars. Literally everyone. I’ve never seen so many Maseratis and Lambos in my god damn life.

– “he looks like he’s rich but also like he’d be really mean to me because I’m fat” Thoughts I had on a cute guy on a scooter (yes we’re getting to the scooters in a moment) while sitting in a cute coffee shop

– “was it $5,500 or $55,000?” – overheard while walking around LA. They were quite nonchalant about it honestly. I wish I knew what they were talking about.

– “this is exactly how I pictured LA: douchebags on scooters” – Scooters are freaking everywhere. They’re connected to the Lyft and Uber apps and you just scan them and ride! Quite the scene honestly. I did have the pleasure of riding one, however, I was way too many mimoasas deep so I don’t remember it all that well… Sorry mom.

– Everything in LA is just so Instagramable. From bright pink walls to lattes with your own personal art on it, EVERYTHING is the prime Insta opportunity. It’s honestly so shocking that I didn’t post a million pictures during the trip. But I do have a bunch of pics that I will be using for future blog posts, get ready ladies and gents.

– We were waiting in line to get into a club and the guy next to me had on a Balenciaga Jean jacket and I have an old leotard from my 8th grade hip hop class that I turned into a strapless body suit… Who do I think I am?

– True white people shit is an EDM remix of blink 182. That shit bopped though.

– There’s a reason bottomless mimosas aren’t served in MA and Jesus Christ I’ve never been happier about that fact. The waiters just kept filling them up with no care in the world! I didn’t empty my glass once, but I left absolutely HAMMERED. By the time we got home it was 5pm and I watched a single episode of New Girl and then fell asleep for 5 hours. I woke up to a text from Geneva saying she had bought pizza, only to find that she had eaten all of the pizza in a hangover haze. No one can be blamed for anything that happens due to the direct results of drinking at brunch. Brunch: 1 Sarah: 0.

– I saw a store that said “happy hour” and “tax advice.” I don’t have anything else to say about that.

That’s all for now folks! In the end I really enjoyed my time in LA. I was so happy to hang out with Geneva again, and FINALLY get some warm air and sunshine on my face. I don’t think I’d ever move there, I’m too bitter and cold deep down. The East Coast has me for the foreseeable future, sorry?

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