It’s episode 2 of Reader’s Choice over here at Celibate and The Suburbs. If you haven’t you can go read that here.

Today, I give you, The OG Ghost.

The OG Ghost

If you didn’t notice, this screenshot is from the year 2013. Before ghosting was even a term, my friend was ghosting this guy HARD, but yet, he persisted.

My friend, let’s call her Girl, had taken this older Boy to our junior prom and he liked her a little – okay, a lot – more than she liked him. I have two favorite moments from this one screenshot. Number 1 is “happy birthday stranger.” I absolutely fucking LOVE that he’s acknowledging that he hasn’t spoken to her in months. He’s trying oh so hard to get her attention and completely strikes out.

The best, best, BEST, part though, the huge favor. What in the world could this guy be asking someone who he hasn’t talked to in over 3 months, let alone SEEN? I have a few ideas:

• I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend so my family doesn’t think I’m gay
• Can you watch my cat while I go on vacation?
• Would you be able to send me the prom pictures? My mom’s been asking me forever
• I left my tux jacket in the car prom night, can you come with me to try and hunt it down. I owe an insane amount of money on late fees.
• Will you help me move into college? My family will be on vacation and all my friends will already be moved in.

I asked her to message him back now and see what he wanted, but unfortunately that’s not going to happen. So I guess we’re all going to have to sit on the edge of this cliff for the rest of our lives.

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