It’s something I think about and fear every day. Not fitting somewhere. Being too big, too tall, too wide, too thick. Not being able to squeeze behind chairs in restaurants, not fitting in theater or stadium seats, squeezing through tight spaces, it’s terrifying. My ass is BIG. I didn’t name this shit Biracial Booty for nothing. It’s only gotten bigger, even if I didn’t realize it.
I’ve been to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park, a million times. I went exactly a year ago this week. And I’ve always been able to fit onto the rides. Some of them were uncomfortable, but I fit. This year I did not. On not one, but two rides. I had to sit and struggle with seat belts and restraints not fitting over my stomach or thighs. I had to get up and leave, grab my bag, and walk away from the ride. Twice.
I’m rarely actually embarrassed, especially about my size and looks. But I was mortified. I couldn’t even talk about it with my friends that were with me, because none of them are fat, not even close to plus sized, they wouldn’t even begin to understand. One of the ride attendants told me to try another roller coaster because they had larger restraints. I think she was trying to help, but in reality it just made me even more embarrassed and pissed me off, because here was this small girl looking at me with pity because my ass was too big for a stupid roller coaster.
I don’t even know what I wanted her to say, but it was anything but that. She looked sad for me, and I didn’t want her to be. I didn’t want her to even look at me.
My coping mechanism is humor if you couldn’t already tell. Immediately after I had to leave both rides I started making jokes about what caused them to add in more restraints. Both rides I had been on had more seat belts and restraints than the year before. Now, why on earth would they have to add in those restraints!? What punk ass kid did something dumb and made them add in seat belts.
This world isn’t made for fat people.
Bada Bing, Bada boom, that’s your fat ass story of the week. Tune in later to find out if I can fit into another tight place.
Tune in later for a more light hearted and funny blog too… sorry to be a Debbie Downer but this shits gotta be said.
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