I need everyone to take a hard long deep look at themselves and try not to be a carbon copy of everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with being on trend, but I swear to god if I see one more group of white kids in the same exact god damn outfit I’m going to lose my fucking mind. That’s a rant for another day, what I’m here to rant about is the stupid shit that boys (and some girls) put on their dating profiles that makes me assume they’re the world’s most unoriginal boring person in the world. From TV shows, to basic ass responses to hinge prompts, just stop it. Stop it right now.

The Office

We get it. you like the office. Michael Scott is probably your spirit animal and you want a love like Jim and Pam. Snooze. Boring. Bye. It’s one of the most popular comedies on the god damn planet, of COURSE, you like it. This is only partly out of the aggravation that I don’t think the Office is even that funny and partly because liking a TV show isn’t a god damn personality trait! God, how did people date before TV? How did they know what someone’s personality is without knowing their favorite television shows?!

Pizza

I’m sorry, but are you Dave fucking Portnoy? Do you make a living off of eating pizza? EVERYONE likes pizza. I don’t even like pizza and I like pizza. “I know the best spot in town for pizza” probably means you take girls to Pizzeria Regina and make lame ‘one bite everybody knows the rules’ jokes.

Game Of Thrones

Wow, you’re a fan of the biggest TV show in the world? Congrats bro. Unless you had a cameo in the show, I don’t care.

Dogs

Thirst trap the fuck out of girls with your puppy pics, but if your entire profile is made up of dogs you’re crossing the line into crazy dog person. Everyone rags on crazy cat ladies but crazy dog guys are JUST AS PYSCHO. If you treat your dog like your actual child I will be running for the hills. Stop it, do less.

“Nicest guy you’ll ever meet”

If you have to go out of your way to tell girls you’re nice, I know for a fact that you’re not. See Luke P from the Bachelorette. There is 0 reason you should have to explain to me how nice you are, I should be able to figure it out on my own.

Race Jokes

This shouldn’t have to be said, but I literally just opened Hinge to a prompt that said “First round is on me if: You can tell me you’ve seen a pregnant Asian lady before.” BOY BYE. Just leave any and all race jokes out of your profile. Actually, keep them in. Because if you’re making these jokes on dating apps, I can only imagine what you’re saying in real life and I want nothing to do with that BS. Carry on.

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