This may come to a shock to you, but I was a bit of a Gleek back in my day. I watched the show religiously, bumped the albums on my bus ride to school every day, and even missed my dance recital dress rehearsal to go to the official Glee concert sophomore year…

This is from said Glee concert… I wore that shirt loud and proud. Shockingly enough I am NOT, in fact, a gay man… just a straight, cis girl who loves boys. At one point, I added “who play hockey” to the bottom and wore it to my high school’s hockey playoff games. Jesus christ this shouldn’t have been allowed.

But I digress, that is not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is that Will Schuester, director of the McKinley High School Glee Club, should absolutely positively be in prison. He is a fucking weirdo whack job who sang inappropriate songs with his students, has sex while he should be teaching, among a million other things.

I can fully admit that back in the day, I was a big Will Schuester fan, 15-year-old Sarah was super into it. But now, as a 23-year-old watching these clips and episodes back I’m realizing what a fucking creepo Mr. Schue was. Pick any episode and Will either says something inappropriate, looks at a student inappropriately or sings an absurd song with his students. In the very first episode, he blackmails Finn into joining Glee Club by hiding drugs in his locker. Episode ONE and he is already a fucking psycho creep.

There’s an entire episode about Twerking in which Mr. Schue sings Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke with his students twerking around him. Will does a lot of stupid and borderline illegal things but Will Schuester singing a song about date rape – thinking it’s about any blurred lines – with his high school-aged students is really just the only thing you need to know about Will Schuester.

I’m watching season 5 for the first time, and let me just tell you, how the fuck Will gets away with anything he does is beyond me. He suspends a girl from Glee Club for not dressing sexy for a Lady Gaga number, he steals Finn’s lettermen jacket (RIP Cory Monteith) from a bunch of grieving teenagers, he critiques his students twerking skills, and that’s all within 3 episodes…

If I were to write a blog with every single bad, weird, creepy, psycho thing that Mr. Schuester does, it would be a novel. I’m picturing one of those old, monotone stenographers in a courtroom just reading out the list of things Will does and it going on for legit ever, because it’s truly endless. It hurts my soul every time he opens his mouth.

I can’t go through everything, but these are my favorite (least favorite?) and most iconic Will Schuester Moments in my eyes:

• He straight up said, “You’re all minorities, you’re in the glee club.” Okay Mr. Straight White Cis-Gendered Male…
• When he rapped Gold Digger, Bust A Move, Thong Song, and literally anything else, but those three specifically make me want to die
• That one time he performed Toxic by Britney Spears in front of the entire fucking school.
• When the Glee Club was putting on a production of Rocky Horror picture show and he said he was going to be Rocky, a character that wears a gold speedo. Honestly, everything Will does in the Rocky Horror episode should send him to jail alone.
• I need to reemphasize the fact that he sang Blurred Lines in an episode about Twerking and then went on to petition the school board to allow the Glee club to continue twerking. Please watch this episode. Season 5, Episode 5, The End of Twerk.

There are so many more reasons Will Schuester should be in jail, but who has the fucking time?? These clips are honestly so fucking funny and absurd and show some of the things I talked about here, but also more of the abso-fucking-lutely absurd shit that Will Schuester does. Please enjoy and hate Will just as much as I do.

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