Why Do I Know Calculus And Not How To File My Taxes?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually know how to do calculus. I almost failed AP Calc back in high school, but I passed Business Calculus (aka calc for dummies) in college, so that counts for something. And regardless, I know more about calculus and random other unimportant shit than I do about every day important things like fucking taxes.

When I started my current job, because I was hired on as a contractor, I have to do my own fucking taxes. As in, me, a 23-year-old girl with a college education, has to figure out how much I owe the government in united states dollars. I’m truly, 100% terrified that I’m going to accidentally commit tax fraud and end up like our boy Mike The Situation in federal prison.

Image result for mike the situation jail gif

How on earth do more people not go to jail for accidental tax fraud? We’re just never taught how taxes work, what we’re supposed to do, or what any of it means. W-2? What is that? 1099? Don’t even get me started. I spent 3 years of my life learning the methods of pre-calculus and calculus, but I could not tell you the first thing about what documents to even bring to an account so that they can do my taxes. That’s just absurd. Could I tell you the unit circle though? Well actually no I cannot (sorry Mr. Hoover, you know I was cheating on those quizzes) but I was taught it, so in theory, I should be able to, I’m just stupid, but that’s beside the point.

We need to bring back home economics classes. But not the sexist learn how to bake a cake for your husband’s type classes, like a learn how to adult 101 class. Mandatory for all high school seniors. Lessons include, how to cook basic meals, how to get a credit card, how to file taxes, how to buy a car, and what in the fuck is a mortgage. Some of you reading this are probably thinking, ‘just ask your parents,’ which is a great solution, assuming your parents know what’s going on! My parents wouldn’t be able to help me with my taxes any more than I could help you with yours.

I just don’t understand how this god forsaken country expects the youth to do anything as they become not youths if our school system isn’t made to teach how to be adults! Blows my mind, man, blows my mind.


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