I got a lot of thoughts on this matter. Not that anyone even cares, but I need to write a blog today, and some people do probably care, so fuck it. Let’s go.
It was Fantasy Suites week on The Bachelor last night, and if you own a Twitter account, you know that means it’s finally sex week. If you live under a rock, just know, Fantasy Suites are the first time the contestants get real alone time overnight, there are no camera’s or producers, and the assumption is they are having sex, but it’s also a really good time for the contestants to get to know each other on a much more intimate level without god damn cameras in their face. They’re almost always filled with drama because USUALLY at this point, the Bachelor/Bachelorette has no clue what they want and they have three people in love with them sitting in front of them and they have to decide if they want to give them each an overnight date, or just some, or none, and blah blah blah. Sounds stressful. Couldn’t be me.
Anywhos, this seasons’ fantasy suites were nothing short of dramatic considering Peter (thinks) he loves all three girls. BIG YIKES. And, right before the week started, once Madison had her rose and knew she would be moving forward to potentially going to the fantasy suites, she tells Peter that she wouldn’t be comfortable with him sleeping with the other women. You know the second she said this, the producers were like shit we gotta rearrange some shit, and put Madison’s date last.
Typically, this week, the contestants don’t see each other at all between their dates. They don’t see each other until the rose ceremony AFTER all the dates. This season, they decided to have the three girls stay in the same house, so not only did they each know who actually had a productive date, but the order they were in. Which they typically would not know until they watched the show back. By the time it was Madison’s date, she knew Peter had slept with Victoria and Hannah Ann.
We all knew going into Peter and Madison’s date that it would be drama infused. People were comparing the preview to last season of the Bachelorette when Luke P told Hannah that she couldn’t sleep with anyone else and was more or less being a misogynistic piece of shit. And, up until I saw the episode, I agreed. She had no right to tell Peter he couldn’t sleep with someone else, BUT that’s not what happened. She didn’t tell him what to do, she told him that she wouldn’t be able to accept a proposal (the whole point of the show) if he had slept with one of the other women just 6 days before. Which makes absolute sense for the real world. But the biggest issue with this is that the Bachelor isn’t the real world. You don’t get engaged after 2 months of knowing someone, you don’t date 30 girls at the same time, you don’t spend your entire relationship on camera. News Flash: The Bachelor relationships are not the same as real-life relationships. And considering this show is on season TWENTY FOUR (24) we should fucking know this.
I think Madison’s thoughts and feelings are valid, but I also think if she felt this strongly about not wanting her partner to have been with someone else mere days before getting proposed to, she shouldn’t have fucking gone on this show… No, the whole point of the show isn’t sex, it’s love, but for a lot of people, and we know for Peter, sex is a huge part of a relationship, and we’ve known this about Peter since day 1.
I think it was wildly dumb that Madison didn’t speak up about her feelings regarding this before the rose ceremony. She told him in a very short and rushed amount of time, and didn’t give them a real chance to have a conversation about it. She also left out one of the most important details, which is WHY she’d be uncomfortable if he slept with the other women. Peter didn’t know she was a virgin until after the fact, and honestly, that changes that conversation a lot. Any sane fucking person would be uncomfortable with their boyfriend sleeping with 2 girls right before sleeping with them. I mean DUH. That’s fucking abnormal. Peter’s been on the show, no way in hell he was comfortable with the fact that Hannah could have slept with Jed or Tyler as well as him. But again, kind of what you sign up for when you go on the show. I 100% think that if Madison had told him that her faith and the way she perceives sex was the reasoning behind her saying that, he would’ve reacted differently. You can tell that once he tells her that he feels incredibly bad and that he really does love her.
Her faith and the fact that she is waiting until marriage to lose her virginity is going to be a large part of any relationship she is going to be in, whether it’s Peter or someone else, and that other person kind of has a right to know that. That is absolutely something you should tell a guy you’re in love with, and even remotely considering getting married to. You don’t need to go around and tote to every single guy you date that you’re a virgin, we saw from Colton how out of proportion that can go from a Bachelor standpoint, but it’s a conversation that needs to be had. Absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, it doesn’t fucking matter, but what does matter is your significant other knowing if there is a condition on said relationship. Peter sleeping with Hannah Anna and Victoria is shitty out of the context of The Bachelor, but in the context of the Bachelor, you are dating several women at the same time, and dating someone usually means having sex with someone. I keep seeing tweets saying that if he really was in love with Madison he wouldn’t have slept with the other two women, but they’re forgetting about the fact that Peter also said he was in love with Hannah Ann and Victoria. He’s in three relationships! THREE! Again, let me say it louder for the people in the back, THAT’S HOW THE BACHELOR WORKS. If you don’t want your boyfriend to date someone else, don’t go on The Bachelor. It’s a common theme with this god damn show, there are always several girls that get wildly upset by this fact, when in fact, it’s the ENTIRE POINT OF THE SHOW. Peter even says to Madison that he can see a future with her, but he can also see a future with Hannah Ann and/or Victoria.
Long blog longer: Madison has full rights to her sexual preferences and when and if she decides to sleep with someone, as well as if or if not she wants to accept a proposal from someone depending on if they had a sexual relationship with someone else right before the potential proposal. But part of being in a relationship is an open line of communication. Madison is not wrong for telling Peter how she feels, she should have told him. She probably should have told him before fantasy suites week, though. You don’t need to make a big deal of it, but it absolutely would have changed how Peter went about this week. She didn’t even give Peter the full story before going into fantasy suites. I don’t know if she thought he would fill in the details based on her personality and faith. If Peter knew the reason she wouldn’t be comfortable with him having sex with the other women was because of how in love with him she was coupled with her virginity and faith, if Peter really thought she was who he wanted to end up with, he probably would have played his cards differently.
TLDR: Madison isn’t wrong for how she felt, but she can’t expect Peter to react the way she wants and needs him to if she doesn’t tell him everything. If she wants to walk out on him after this, she can, but she can’t put 100% of the blame on Peter. 1,400 words later…
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