Who’s shocked? Not me!!!!!!! Another day, another shitty guy on a dating app. I truly, truly don’t know how they get away with this shit. God fucking damn it why couldn’t I be a lesbian? I’m so incredibly jealous that they aren’t sexually attracted to a gender that contains human beings this incredibly dumb.

I was messaging back and forth with a kid on Bumble and our jobs came up. He works for a valet in Boston, I work from home in marketing. His exact words were “come get me and I’ll help you “work” then.” Um, sir. It’s 1pm in the afternoon. The sun is out and shining bright. After some witty banter, in which I tried to make it abundantly clear I did not want to do that, he then suggested I come meet him at work and we can hook up in one of the expensive cars on his lot.

It sounds like something that 2 teenagers would do in an ABC Family Original Series. First off, I don’t particularly want to hook up with a stranger in the middle of the day. Second off, I don’t want to hook up with a stranger in a different stranger’s car. Third, I most certainly want to hook up with someone where all of those facts combine in the situation!

I almost asked him how many girls he has asked to this before, and then on top of that, how many said yes. I’m really really intrigued honestly. I would never judge a girl for doing this, you gotta do what you gotta do, but you know what, I’m gunna judge the fuck out of this guy for asking! Flip the script. Feminism.

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