March Madness is canceled, but during this whole social distancing and quarantine thing we need something to entertain us, so why not vote in a meaningless bracket and get in fights on Twitter about which song is better! A lot of people have been asking me what the songs are, and what kind of songs, and when and how they can vote, and I’m finally here to announce it. Drum roll please…
Middle School Bangerz!!!
Emphasis on the BANGERZ. I started a playlist a while ago and just kept adding… Fast forward and the playlist has 89 songs, and almost 6 hours worth of music, and I’m still adding to it every day. WOOPS. The bracket itself only has 64 songs (an upgrade from my normal 32 songs), so this one is quite literally bigger and better than any of my past March Madness brackets. All the songs on the bracket came out between the years 2005 and 2011, approximately the time I was in middle school, aka the BEST time for music. I mean these songs absolutely SLAP. Trying to put them into categories and rank them was damn near impossible… To make my life a tad easier, they are broken up into 8 categories instead of four, ranked 1-8. Voting will take place in a Google Form, as well as on Twitter and Instagram once we get down to the sweet 16. Stay tuned on my Instagram and Twitter during the next few weeks to vote!
So what the hell are the categories and which songs made the cut you may ask? Sit down, buckle up, get out your gauchos and flared jeans, and get ready to fucking JAM ladies and gents.
Way Too Sexual – Songs that are just incredibly sexual and the fact that we, as 11 and 12 year olds, were just absolutely bopping to these makes me wildly uncomfortable but we’re ignoring it.
| Bedrock by Young Money |
| Don’t Cha by The Pussy Cat Dolls |
| Birthday Sex by Jeremih |
| Womanizer by Brittney Spears |
| Sexy Can I by Ray J |
| Love In This Club by Usher |
| Lollipop by Lil Wayne |
| Say Aah by Trey Songz |
Where Are They Now – Where are these artists?! Some of them aren’t one hit wonders, some kind of are, but none of them are wildly popular right now… we miss them. We love them
| Fireflies by Owl City |
| Temperature By Sean Paul |
| Damaged by Danity Kane |
| Airplanes by B.o.B Feat Hayley Williams |
| Down by Jay Sean |
| Replay by Iyaz |
| Gives You Hell by The All American rejects |
| Like A G6 by The Far East Movement |
A1 Collabs – This time in music was also a fan-fucking-tastic time for collaborations. I mean these songs are stellar, and there are a bunch of other AMAZING collabs on this playlist in other categories.
| Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado Feat Timbaland |
| Low by Flo-Rida Feat T-Pain |
| Glamourous by Fergie Feat Ludacris |
| Bottoms Up by Trey Songz feat Nicki Minaj |
| SexyBack by Justin Timberlake Feat Timbaland |
| Forever by Drake Feat Kanye West |
| Apologize by Timbaland Feat One Republic |
| Live Your Life by T.I. Feat Rihanna |
Rap GEMS – What would a song be without a great rap verse. I don’t even know if we can consider some of these songs rap, or some of the verses on them Rap, but you know what putting 64 songs into 8 different categories is HARD.
| Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy |
| Kiss Me Through The Phone by Soulja Boy |
| Best I Ever Had By Drake |
| Baby By Justin Bieber feat Ludacris |
| California Girls by Katy Perry feat Snoop Dogg |
| Dead and Gone By T.I. |
| Blame It by Jamie Foxx |
| Whatever You Like by T.I. |
Still Bops – These are songs we all still listen to. They hit HARD.
| Fergalicious by Fergie |
| Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira |
| Burning Up by the Jonas Brothers |
| SOS by Rihanna |
| Single Ladies by Beyonce |
| DONTTRUSTME by 3OH!3 |
| Summer Love by Justin Timberlake |
| Rude Boy by Rihanna |
Iconic Lyrics – Some of the lyrics from these songs are just unforgettable. “hey hey you you I don’t like your girlfriend” CLASSIC. You know the words to all of these songs and you fucking love every second of them.
| Girlfriend by Avril Levigne |
| Umbrella by Rihanna |
| Buy U A Drank by Tpain |
| Fire Burning by Sean Kingston |
| When I Grow Up by The Pussy Cat Dolls |
| Ridin’ Solo by Jason Derulo |
| My First Kiss by 3OH!3 |
| Dangerous By Kardinal Offishall |
You Forgot About It, But Still Slaps – The songs you most definitely forgot about but they are absolute JAMS.
| Best Love Song by Tpain Feat Chris Brown |
| Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas |
| In My Head by Jason Derulo |
| How Do You Sleep by Jesse McCartney |
| Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starships |
| Closer by Ne-yo |
| Eenie Meanie by Justin Bieber Feat Sean Kingston |
| Right Now (Na Na Na) by Akon |
Songs From Their Debut Album – So many artists got their start during this time and what better way to honor them than with their own category. Shout out Lady Gaga with TWO songs in this category, her debut album was just spectacular, I can’t get enough of it honestly.
| One Time by Justin Bieber |
| Tik Tok by Ke$ha |
| 7 Things by Miley Cyrus |
| Super Bass by Nicki Minaj |
| Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo |
| Poker Face by Lady Gaga |
| Just Dance by Lady Gaga |
| One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks |
So, stay tuned for tomorrow when voting officially opens, I’ll be posting the new brackets following the original March Madness schedule, so they won’t be daily this year. But you’ll still be getting daily blogs from me so that’s fun!! Right?! I’m posting the actual bracket later today (hopefully)… I haven’t actually made it yet and that shit is a lot of fucking work if we’re being honest.
Schedule:
First Round, 64: March 17th
2nd Round, 32: March 20th
Sweet 16: March 26th
Elite 8: March 28th
Final 4: April 4th
Championship Round: April 6th
Winner Announced: April 7th
Depending on how much work I have at my day job this could change, but that’s the game plan, for now, gotta keep expectations somewhere, am I, right ladies!? I’m wicked excited for this year’s bracket, I hope you are too, and I hope this gives everyone something to talk about and have fun with while we’re all stuck inside for the foreseeable future!!!!
Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.
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