Is PornHub Going To Save Us All?

I mean, what other company is even trying to help this situation?? PornHub is at least making some sort of an attempt! Free premium to help keep people inside AND sending masks to workers in NYC?! Amazing. Beautiful. Wonderful. As it stands right now, PornHub is doing more than the god damn United States government! What else do we have to do during this quarantine other than binge watch Netflix and masturbate? We should all probably get some work done too, but you know what, the world is crumbling around us, it’s okay to slack off just a tad.

I don’t really want to know where PornHub got 50 THOUSAND masks that medical professionals couldn’t get, but we’ll ignore that for the good of humanity. If lil ole PornHub can round up the funds and the decency to help out why the FUCK can’t any of these god damn celebrities and millionaires??? It’s kind of fucking rude honestly. Instead, we get a god awful singing video. I want a refund from life.

I guess all we need to survive this social distancing and stay home orders is some free porn and delivery food. Fortunately for us, there has been no shortage of either of these things. Oh and maybe a good ole bracket, which you can vote in now. Wow, look at that plug for myself. How LOVELY.

Vote here!!


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