I just filled out a Google Form To “match me with my soulmate”

I think this is a new low? Quarantine is hitting different ladies and gents. But let me explain before you ship me off to the nearest therapist.

I got a text from my friend Maryanne that said “Sarah, I’ll Venmo you $5 to do this” with a screenshot of a post in our school’s Greek Life Facebook page.

Screen Shot 2020-03-31 at 12.43.41 PM

Maryanne, say less, I don’t even need the $5 to partake in whatever nonsense this is about to be. This is nothing short of ridiculous considering a bunch of the questions just have to do with if you like The Office or not. Spoiler alert: I don’t like The Office.

I’m not joking, of the 22 questions, there were two (2) questions about The Office. Okay, 2 isn’t a bunch, but when everything else is a normal question, 2 questions is a lot of time to dedicate to a TV show. They straight up asked if you liked the show and had the audacity to say “this might be a deal-breaker”. You know what is a deal breaker? Acting like The Office is your entire sense of humor and personality. Spoiler alert: I will not be the Pam to your Jim and I’m offended you even suggested the idea. Hard pass man. Can we please for the love of God stop pretending that The Office is the end all be all of funny shows?? I mean New Girl fucking exists you losers! That’s a blog for another day.

The other questions were pretty basic, religion, age, height, if you’re looking for someone older or younger, taller or shorter, hobbies, perfect first date. Basic ass questions. That you would use to get to someone I guess. Though, they definitely could have gone a lot more in-depth to some of these and not just had open-ended questions like “what are your pet peeves,” but I didn’t make this nor do I plan on making my own so who am I to judge.

It ends with asking for your snap or phone number and yall know that for any boy that asks I don’t have a fucking Snapchat, so I left my phone number. Let’s see where this dumpster fire of a journey takes us. There’s no way anyone my age is actually doing this so I can only imagine who is.


And just another reminder to make sure you vote in the Elite Eight of the Middle School BANGERZ bracket!!

Vote here!

Here’s the schedule for the remainder for the tournament for those curious:

Final 4: April 4th
Championship Round: April 6th
Winner Announced: April 7th


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