Wow, that’s a doozy of a blog title. But what can ya do… I genuinely cannot stop thinking about it? I’m not sure why it’s on my brain, but Jesus Christ I was a fucking embarrassment.

To set the scene, it was my freshman year of high school, fall, obviously. I was getting ready for a field hockey game, so I had my cute little field hockey kilt with our ugly ass jerseys on, trying to pretend that my 14 year old ass looked cute to the senior boys walking in and out of the locker room getting ready for their respective sports practices.

Our gym has separate doors to exit towards the fields, and they’re set back into the building so there’s a little covering alcove situation going on, and the football players would always stand there and put their pads on the ground before practice, while the field hockey girls would sit in the gym lobby ogling their butts in football pants. It was a perfect scenario for lil baby 14 year old Sarah. Until I had to exit the building and walk to the field hockey field.

I walked passed the football players every single day, without issue, head held high, making jokes with my friends so they would think I was cute and funny. That day was no different. Or so I fucking thought.

I walked out the doors, head turned to my friends, trying to keep the conversation going and make it look like I was funny and unphased by the mediocre boys surrounding me. What I should have been doing was watching my step because my big ass foot stepped right into someone’s helmet causing me to face plant into the ground. In front of dozens of people. Most notably my crush at the time.

So there I am, laying on the ground, foot stuck in a helmet, field hockey stick went flying, skirt splayed out around me. Surrounded by every fall sports player at my school. Talk about embarrassing. The worst part of it all was that I twisted my ankle when I fell and couldn’t play in the game that day! Talk about a double whammy. Here I am, almost 10 years later, and I cannot stop fucking thinking about it… I guarantee no one remembers it, probably not even my friends. But I’m still fucking mortified. There I was, pretending to be cool when I did the most uncool thing imaginable. God, I’m a fucking embarrassment. And now I’m just sharing it with the world… I’m a glutton for punishment I guess.

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