Wake Up With Obama’s Inaugural Address

Today’s gunna be fucking stressful. We all know that. I will be stress eating ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly like a god damn child. Make sure you fucking vote. Remember, hot girls vote for Joe Biden. Hot girls settle for Joe. You are not hot if you vote for Trump and you are not hot if you don’t vote!!!!

Obama’s inaugural address is something I think about often. I was in 7th grade, my whole school watched it in the auditorium. Our first black president. A president that looked like me, looked like my family. I remember election day in 2008 so vividly. My aunt called my dad and asked who he voted for. He scoffed and said who do you think? Obama’s election meant so much to black people, more than I could ever pick up at such a young age. Was he the best president? No. Can you have a genuinely good President? No. The nature of the job is not inherently good. Politicians are not inherently good. Politicians are not our friends. I hate stanning politicians, because at the end of the day they’re making deals and trying to do the best for their career. I digress.

Today is going to be a long day, it’s going to be a long week. Hell, it’s going to be a long month. Best case scenario, we get a new white guy running this hellhole. Worst case…. I don’t even want to imagine the worst case. I’m going back to my crackers. My ritz crackers, not my white people.

If I get drafted in the race war, I will be saving Chris Evans, don’t worry.

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