Let me start by saying, I have no judgement for any one that does Only Fans. Fucking A, I debate making one every other god damn day. What I will judge is how highly you think of yourself and therefore your subscription prices.

Austin Mahone… Debatably a One Hit Wonder of years past. Maybe more than One Hit. But he’s not at the same level as most of the other male pop stars of our generation. I bet several people reading this blog don’t even know who the hell he is. I’ll wait while you troop over to Spotify (or I GUESS Apple Music) to jog your memory.

I discovered today that Austin Mahone had an OnlyFans and was less shocked about the fact that he had an account and more shocked that it cost $24.99 to fucking subscribe… That’s more than a god damn Netflix subscription. That’s more than Netflix and Hulu COMBINED. Perhaps maybe more than Netflix, Hulu, AND Disney+. Can you tell I don’t pay for my own streaming services??? That’s a lot of fucking money for a D List popstar if you ask me…

I mostly want to know what type of content he’s giving. Like is this full frontal? There is one post that says “we recorded a video.” Is this full blown amateur porn? I need to know. But there is ZERO chance I’m spending $25 of my hard spent dollars on it… Someone venmo me $25 and I fucking will though…. No cap. I think that’s how you use that term.

Ladies, if this lowgrade, Justin Bieber wannabe can charge that much to POSSIBLY see his dick, we can too. Maybe I’ll start an OnlyFans just to see how much I could charge. If you’re related to me and reading this, I’m totally kidding. If you’re a person who would pay for an OnlyFans subscription from me…. HMU. I’ll see myself out.