I simply cannot help but laugh at my ridiculous love life at this point. I mean, I’m simply one meet cute away from a stellar plot to a romantic comedy. Okay, maybe just a sub par Netflix romantic comedy, but a romantic comedy none the less.

I truly cannot help but laugh. Without context this is truly one of the funniest messages I’ve ever received on a dating app, and that includes the guy who asked me to make out and then apologized three days later when I didn’t respond.

With context it’s both funnier and sweet, but also incredibly odd?

This kid and I matched a few days before Christmas and barely chatted for maybe 3 days. It was in no way nonstop communication, there would be legitimate hours in between messages. If anything we had half of a conversation. We talked about one of my hinge answers about how I accidentally snuck into a conspiracy theory themed rave in LA, and then we started to talk about plans for the holidays, and then nothing for three weeks. I didn’t say anything to him and he said nothing to me, so I simply assumed that was the end of that.

When I first saw the message, I only saw the top half, and I laughed at how incredibly professional it was. That’s the type of message you send to your coworkers when you’ve accidentally ignored them for three days, not a potential love interest. When I opened it up and saw the actual rejection, my jaw legitimately dropped. Here I am getting rejected by someone who I quite literally do not know. Should I be offended at the fact that he deemed there was no connection in about 15 messages? Regardless, this is the most professional rejection I’ve ever received, included all of the literal professional rejections I’ve gotten from companies.

Is this the nicest message I’ve ever received? Yes. Is it the most absurd? Not really, but it’s still absurd. I love how nice and honest this man is being, but did I really need to be told there’s no connection after not even meeting the man? I 100% had forgotten about his existence up until this message, and now I’m out here writing blogs and tweets and making tik toks about it. I get what he was saying, and had we been talking for longer, or had met in person, I would absolutely appreciate this message, but please for the love of god, “ghost” me. My ego cannot handle literal rejection.

In my very personal opinion, ghosting someone requires the following:

• not replying to ANY texts or messages repeatedly
• having met the person or a much larger relationship in which you have talked more often than just a few times

So had this man never spoken to me again, it wouldn’t be ghosting. Ghosting isn’t not replying to someones text one time, and then if the other person never reaches out, not responding ever again. It’s mutual if that’s the case. If you don’t respond to my text, and then I never message you again, that’s a choice on my end to fizzle it out. I don’t think it’s wrong or bad to do this either. Not if there was minimal interactions before hand. Do this in a real life relationship? Terrible. Do this to someone who’s last name you don’t even know? Not terrible.

I’ve been real life ghosted, I went out with a guy, had a second date planned, he canceled the second date, and then simply didn’t respond to anything I said whenever I texted or snap chatted him. THAT is real life ghosting. THAT is a dick move. That guy is an asshole. Fuck him. This guy? The guy who sent the sweetest rejection after never having met me? He’s a nice guy and I wish him the absolute best. Hope he finds the one.