Those stupid fucking strip LED lights that everyone and their mother has on Tik Tok have zero place in an adult mans bedroom. If you are over the age of 18 and don’t live in a fucking dorm room, please, for the love of fucking god, lose the damn strip lights.

I do think these are sick and have their place in the world. I used to have them wrapped around my full length mirror to give more of a ring light/vanity mirror effect. We have them around the mirrors at our dance studio, and they look fucking sick behind televisions. But jesus fucking christ they look so stupid just stuck on the the walls in your bedroom.

When I say this is a person attack on myself, I fucking mean it. Because yesterday I was talking to man, I want to emphasize the fact that he is in fact a 26 year old adult man. Full time job, owns a dog, from what I can tell is an overall well adjusted adult. But this fucking man had the god damn LED strip lights in his room. Want to know how I know this? Because he sent me fucking dick pics WITH DIFFERENT COLORED LIGHTS. They were solicited, don’t judge me (if you’re related to me, just pretend you never read this), but he sent several with different colored lights. Blue, red, purple. The ambiance and absurdity was off the charts.

I want that fact to sit with you for a moment. Just imagine me opening a god damn message of a colored dick pic. And now imagine that happening three separate times with three separate colors. At one point I could see the remote sitting on his bed and I had to stop and laugh for a full minute.

Is this how college kids sext now a days? Do they set the mood with the lights? I genuinely don’t know how I’d react if I walked into a mans bedroom and he switched the lights to red before we hooked up. I think I would have to walk to out. I simply cannot be speaking to a man in a romantic sense that owns and legitimately uses LED strip lights. Am I still talking to this man? Yes, yes I am. Do I understand how hypocritical and crazy I sound? Yes.