A few things you need to know about me:

• I shop when I’m sad
• I’ve wanted a money gun for MONTHS
• I have been sad

I went to Target today to grab a few things. I walked in for Funfetti cake mix and frosting. Left spending $70. And part of that was a fucking money gun. I’ve truly truly have wanted a money gun for a while. Mariahlynn’s song Money Gun really started it all. But more recently I’ve been talking about it more and more frequently for no reason. I think there’s a commercial with them in it, but regardless I’ve been talking about it. I never once looked it up, I just assumed it was something I wouldn’t ever actually buy. Until today.

I’m walking through Target’s party aisle. They give me instant serotonin and honestly I’m a slut for some party supplies. When I saw it.

I picked it up IMMEDIATELY. And guess what. It was only $15 fucking dollars. $15 dollars!!!! Anything under $10 is free, so $15 is basically almost free. I simply had to get it. And get it I fucking did. And let me fucking tell you, it was worth every fucking penny.

It comes with 100 fake $100 bills. They look incredibly fake, but you know what, I simply don’t care. Because in what world would I have a money gun filled with real money? But anyways. It comes with bills, you do need to buy batteries, AAA, which, who has AAA batteries lying around anymore? Regardless, this might go down in history as my best $15 ever spent. How long will it last? Unsure. But it’s fantastic.

In conclusion: Buy a fucking money gun. Who needs a stimmy check when you can simply get this shit?