I will never stop thirsting over Travis Kelce for as long as I live. If you have no clue who Travis Kelce is, he’s a Tight End on the Kansas City Chiefs, the same Chiefs that got their asses handed to them in 31 to 9 loss against Tompa Bay, I mean Tampa Bay.

Do I know anything about Travis Kelce personally? Nope. Just that he’s hot as shit and is dating (married to?) a beautiful (and incredibly petty) black woman, which just makes me love him more. I genuinely don’t know if he’s a good person, what he does other than football, or even what his voice sounds like. But I know he’s hot as fuck. There’s a brand of white boy that you can just tell they like black women, and Kelce is the leader of the pack. Chris Evans is a close second, but that’s a blog for another day.

If you’re wondering what brand of white boy I like, it’s this one. Like. It doesn’t get much hotter than this people. In terms of white people at least. It’s the cockiness for me. Whew baby.

I really need everyone to get on the same page with me here, because if you’re not a football fan, you probably don’t know who this man is, and I need you too because he’s fucking sexy.

There are so few white men that could pull off a suit like this. And most of the time if guys have that haircut, wicked faded on the side, and wicked long on top, I immediately want to die, but on the right person it works, and Travis Kelce is the right person for this.

Oh my lord. I love a colored suit. Like I LOOOOVE a colored suit. Black suits are for funerals only, they’re so fucking boring. Hit me with that navy or charcoal or maroon. Spice it up! Show some personality. Please and thank you.

Hey Travis, can we go thrift shopping?

I hate that I like this so much. Like I actually loathe it. So fucking much. Why does he look like he just stepped off the set of Step Up 2: The Streets? Why am I so into it?

Are you on board with me yet? I hope you are. You’re fucking welcome.