I have selfdeclared myself the queen of bathing suits. I have give or take a million, and I buy new ones every single year. I think I’m overcompensating for the fact that when I was younger my mom would buy me one (1) new tankini (ew) every like three years. Now I’m out here buying four and a half billion skimpy little bikinis, and let me tell you, it is one of the BEST doses of serotonin that I get. So of course I will be providing you people, my lovely and wonderful readers, with the comprehensive guide to swimsuits. I’ll tell you where to get them, some tips and tricks, and everything you need to know to rock a cute ass bathing suit this summer.
I was going to save this blog until closer to summer, but I think now is the perfect time to start talking about this because everyones “getting ready” for swimsuit season. There’s ads from gyms and diets, and I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to do any of that fucking shit. A swimsuit body is any body that wears a swimsuit. So go buy a cute ass bikini, one piece, monokini, whatever you’re comfortable with, and get excited for summertime.
Let’s start with where to get them. The first step to getting a bikini body is purchasing said bikini. What’s the point if you don’t own any cute suits?! If you’re a fat girl, this can be hard. You can’t just pop into Target and grab any old bikini. Though, I will say Target does now have plus size bathing suits, they’re online only (booo), but that’s a step in the right direction. It’s been a few years of me amassing the collection that I have, and I need to share my wealth of knowledge with the world.
I haven’t bought a suit from F21 in a while, but they were my first bikini purchase ever. It was red high waisted bottoms, and a mismatched yellow tribal print bandeau top, it was fucking adorable. I wore the shit out of it. I still browse Forever 21’s suits every season, but nothing has really caught my fancy. Most of their suits are more full coverage, so if you’re looking for that, this is a winner. The bottoms are HIGH waisted, and a lot of the tops were good for bigger chests, which lord knows I don’t have, but some girls are blessed in the boob department.
We hate fast fashion… but also… I’m sorry there’s not that many places that I can shop for trendy clothes as a plus size person. And I fucking LOVE Shein bathingsuits. Like I’m OBSESSED. If you are going to buy from Shein, make sure you read the reviews and look at the pictures people post. Not all their stuff is that great, but some of it is fucking fabulous. The pink and black bandeau top bikinis that I almost am always posting are my all time favorites – the bottoms are the PERFECT coverage for me, they cover the bottom of my belly, but not too much of it, and I like how high up on my legs they are. I’m a fucking stan for high legged shit, it makes my ass and thighs look fucking phenomenal. Shein is also dope because of how many options they have. If you want skimpy plus size bathing suits or full coverage and high waisted, you can find it there 100%.
Fashionova is also a great place to find skimpy bathing suits in plus sizes, if that’s what you’re after. I think my biggest issue as someone who wants to show a LOT of skin, is that a lot of plus size retailers aren’t selling bikins that do that. It’s all high waisted and long tops, which if that’s what you’re looking for, that’s great, but I like to show off my big ass body. I’m told I’m not supposed to, so it’s my little act of rebellion. There’s nothing more badass than a fat girl that doesn’t give a fuck. So Fashionnova is a great find for that. There are some absolutely ridiculous suits on there, ones that I would never fucking wear in real life, but they’re cute and trendy and sexy as fuck.
Alpine Butterfly Swim
I haven’t posted a real pic in the suit I got from Alpine yet, but I did post a story in this pink sequin situation and WOW, I love it so much. They’re dope because there isn’t a plus size section. All of their suits are in their entire size range. They’re a small, women owned business that I am newly obsessed with. They’re more expensive than the other brands I’ve listed, but the quality is higher and it’s a small business. I also love that you buy the pieces separate because you can get two different sizes for a top or bottom. My top is a size, almost two sizes, smaller than my bottom, which makes buying bikinis in a full set pretty difficult, but I didn’t have to worry about it here. I cannot WAIT to have a full photoshoot with this bikini, it’s fucking STUNNING.
I only own two suits from Nasty Gal, and they’re identical, just different colors. But I fucking love them. They were my first ever string bikinis, and got me obsessed with the high leg look. I mean I look fucking FABULOUS in these suits, even if the butt is a wee bit too big, but that was a me issue, I should’ve and could’ve sized down. Nasty Gal is also dope because they usually have some really good sales and discount codes.
Swim Suits for All
Ashley Graham’s swim suit brand is everything you want and more. I have two suits from here, one super skimpy super fucking cute string bikini, and one super cute high leg one piece. They’re both an amazing quality that I know will last a long fucking time. They’re also decently expensive, but the quality is so much better than the cheap cheap shit that I buy. If you’re the kind of person that wants to just buy one suit and get a lot of use out of it, I highly suggest checking out Swim Suits For All, because the Shein, Fashionnova, Nasty Gal type suits aren’t going to last an entire summer if they’re the only one’s you’re wearing.
Now that you have your bathing suit it’s time to put it on and rock that shit, that’s the second and final step to getting a bikini body. I think this can be the scariest part for some people. You obviously want to be comfortable, and getting to that point can take some time, but you’ll never get there if you don’t go out of your comfort zone and at least try.
First off, no one at the beach, or the pool, or wherever the heck you are, cares what you look like in a swim suit. Quite literally no one is looking at your and judging you. Think about all the times you’ve gone to the beach or somewhere where people wear bathing suits, were you judging everyone else? Probably not. And if you were, you’re an asshole who’s opinion doesn’t matter. I’m dead serious. If you’re someone who judges other people for what they’re wearing you’re a fucking dick. Stop worrying about other people, because they most certainly aren’t worrying about you. And if they are, again, asshole. We don’t need to listen to the opinions of assholes do we?
Something that got me way more comfortable in different bathing suits was just wearing them in my house. Sit in your room and wear it, walk around and wear it, get used to how it feels to have that little fabric on. Looking in the mirror can be helpful, it is fo me, but if it’s something that you know isn’t going to be good for you, cover your mirrors before you put it on. Just get used to the feel. There aren’t any mirrors at the beach! So you don’t actually need to know what you look like.
If you’re getting more and more comfortable with swimsuits, my favorite trick is to wear bottoms backwards. Show off some ass but cover some belly. My belly is my biggest insecurity and while I’m slowly but surely getting used to it existing, I do want to cover it some times. Most bathing suits have much more fabric on the butt piece than the front piece, so if you flip them around, you’ll show a little more cheek, but a lot less tummy. I’m way less insecure about my ass cheeks than my stomach. Anyone can see my ass, that doesn’t bother me one bit.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, follow fat people on Instagram. They can be famous or friends, but the more people you see in different body shapes wearing different suits, will train your brain to think “if they can look cute, so can I.” I am CONSTANTLY posting bikini pics on Instagram, so if you don’t already follow me, please do. It’s for your own good obviously.
I think the greatest lesson I’ve learned is to not be afraid to take pictures in bathing suits. You don’t have to post them anywhere, it doesn’t have to be a huge deal. But the more comfortable you are in front of a camera the more comfortable you will be in real life. Go to the beach early early in the morning, or the late evening when no one is there, a friends pool, your pool, you can find time where there aren’t a lot of people around and have yourself a fucking ball. It’s a fun and freeing feeling honestly.