Content Warning: Matthew Morrison rapping, singing, dancing, and being overall creepy as Mr. Schuester.
I have a confession to make. I’m a Gleek. I fucking loved Glee when it was on. Or at least, the first few seasons, I tapped out somewhere in season 4. But back in the OG quarantine days, when there was quite literally nothing else to do, a few friends and I hopped on zoom and watched the entirety of Glee from start to finish. Then, a few days ago I stumbled upon this glorious Twitter thread:
The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up
I’m going to be honest, I fucking love this mashup, even if the premise is fucking CRAZY. This is from the Feud episode in season 4, and Unique and Ryder are fighting because Unique is “interfering” in Ryder’s relationship with Marley and Ryder calls Unique a boy… Which takes the very mundane argument to full blown transphobia. And in true Glee fashion, they try to solve it through the outlet of song. How wholesome…
I’m Still Standing
This performance was in the Twitter thread, but it’s so fucking insane I had to throw it in here too… Quinn and Artie, in wheelchairs, singing I’m Still Standing by Elton John. Take out the fact that it’s two able-bodied actors acting in wheelchairs and it’s still crazy. Quinn is in a wheelchair because of a car accident from texting and driving and she’s in the wheelchair for like 2 fucking episodes… I simply cannot comprehend why anyone thought this was a good idea.
Ice Ice Baby
Trigger Warning Mr. Schue rapping… and dancing… I just want absolutely nothing to do with Matthew Morrison rapping and I’m truly flabbergasted as to why we had to endure it so many fucking times on this show. Matthew Morrison played Mr. Schuester entirely too well and now he’s just soiled his reputation for all of eternity.
A Little Less Conversation
You could debatably put every single Will song on this list honestly. This one is less unhinged than others because it was written to be unhinged. Santana calls Will the fuck out for this wildly absurd number, so at least we have that to look forward to. But I’m still offended we had to sit through it to get to that point anyways.
I Kissed A Girl
I genuinely blacked this one out until it came up on Youtube. The majority of this episode is about Santana coming out, and for some reason, the girls decide to sing this song to support Santana and stand up to a fucking weirdo jock who tried to seduce Santana into being “normal.” Which, yes, is fucking batshit insane and wildly homophobic, but this song? Just not it. The song isn’t even about being a lesbian it’s quite literally about being a straight girl and kissing girls for fun… Probably would’ve made more sense to sing a song normally performed by a man and keep the female pronouns in it.
He Had It Coming
This is another one that was immediately explained as not appropriate, but it, yet again, is fucking ABSURD. Beast is in an abusive relationship and the girls sing a song about murdering their husbands for rather mundane reasons. Meanwhile Beast is sitting in the audience like what the absolute fuck – and everyone watching the show was too. The song legit cuts between clips of the girls dancing on chairs and Beast being fucking screamed and yelled at by her partner. PSYCHOTIC.
If we’ve learned anything from this blog it’s that the context of some Glee performances is about 50 million times worse than the song makes it appear… Ryan Murphy, honey, what was happening?
I’m gonna get myself in a gleehole on Youtube now. Love you lots, Sarah