Drunk Texting Should Be Illegal

What's your toxic trait? Mine is day drinking and then texting the emotionally unavailable men in my life. I have a few drunk phases, and one of them is dubbed "cute boy phase" where I just non-stop talk about the current guy I'm into or some other hot guy. I once cried over how hot …

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THE BACHELOR FINALLY HAS SOME QUEER LOVE

My biggest guilty pleasure is the Bachelor franchise. Every Monday my friends buy every snack insight, go to McDonald's for Diet Cokes and fries, Walgreens for ice cream, and sit down and watch people "fall in love." I may or may not joke every single week that I want to apply and make an audition …

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It’s Not Delivery, It’s Love

Frozen pizza, the one thing that keeps America intact. It's the one thing that keeps my household intact. It seems to always be in the freezer, a beacon of hope to hungry and lazy Americans everywhere. Even the lactose and gluten-free individuals can enjoy frozen pizza. I enjoyed a frozen pizza this morning. I say …

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I want to drop-kick anyone who talks about their diet

Giddy the fuck up or giddy the fuck out because this is about to be a wild ride ladies and gentlemen. This is my blog and I will complain about the things that I want to complain about. Read it or leave it. It's summertime, which means swimsuits and short shorts, and sundresses, and sleeveless …

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Boys (and girls), Stop Mentioning These Things in Your Dating Profiles

I need everyone to take a hard long deep look at themselves and try not to be a carbon copy of everyone else. There's nothing wrong with being on trend, but I swear to god if I see one more group of white kids in the same exact god damn outfit I'm going to lose …

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