It’s Not Delivery, It’s Love

Frozen pizza, the one thing that keeps America intact. It's the one thing that keeps my household intact. It seems to always be in the freezer, a beacon of hope to hungry and lazy Americans everywhere. Even the lactose and gluten-free individuals can enjoy frozen pizza. I enjoyed a frozen pizza this morning. I say …

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Boys (and girls), Stop Mentioning These Things in Your Dating Profiles

I need everyone to take a hard long deep look at themselves and try not to be a carbon copy of everyone else. There's nothing wrong with being on trend, but I swear to god if I see one more group of white kids in the same exact god damn outfit I'm going to lose …

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How to Attract a Man That Will Love and Cherish You

Since I’ve worked in the recruiting industry for the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about people. People are idiots. No matter what type of education they have, or how much money they make, boiled down to it, people are dumb. In the past three years, I’ve seen a lot of dumb things. I …

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Readers Choice, Episode 3: The Charmer

We're back, back, back, back again. It's Episode 3 of Readers Choice of Celibate and the Suburbs. This one is actually from an actual couple!! I know! It's shocking! I never talk about actual couples on my blog, they seem so elusive! Boys are so dumb, they would never be in a relationship. But not …

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Reader’s Choice, Episode 2: The OG Ghost

It's episode 2 of Reader's Choice over here at Celibate and The Suburbs. If you haven't you can go read that here. Today, I give you, The OG Ghost. The OG Ghost If you didn't notice, this screenshot is from the year 2013. Before ghosting was even a term, my friend was ghosting this guy …

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