If you’re dumb like me, you may have recently just found out that Elizabeth Olsen, star of Wandavision, and a prominent member of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s kid sister. Well, can we say kid sister when they were all kids, and also they’re very much not kids anymore? Anyways.
This was shocking news to me. It was pointed out to me that Elizabeth looks exactly like them, but I counter that point with the fact that all blonde white women look the same, so I don’t blame me for not realizing. Also the twins have been so out of my mind popculture wise that I never would have connected two and two together that they were related.
But let’s get to this fucking diss track.
With lyrics like “we’d rather get picked up by a twister, than tagged along by a sister” and “we’d rather lose all our finger nails” this shit is HYSTERICAL. But also incredibly fucking mean!? As an older sister, I get it, when I was that age, I wanted nothing to do with my little sister. Love you Emily, but that’s simply not how big sisters roll. What cracks me up the most about this is that someone had to A) write these lyrics for them 2) Film this entire video for them C) Edit this video and 4) Post said fucking video. Well not post, because it wasn’t the internet back then, but they had to do something with it. Like no one said that this could be a bad idea, that two famous sisters, who had a choke hold on the American public posting a song absolutely shitting on their baby sister would have any possible consequences.
I think I’m going to start singing “B-U-T-T Out” to men that are annoying me. That shit is catchy as fuck.
When you think about it, Mary Kate and Ashley really had a vendetta against their other siblings…
50 cents for a whole ass brother. These girls were business women well beyond their years. No wonder they’re so fucking rich still. These girls really said, we’re the money makers of the family, no one else can exist. And you know what, at the time, they weren’t entirely wrong. They fucking ruled. I have vivid memories of all of the girls at my elementary school fighting over one (1) Mary Kate and Ashley biography in the library every single week.