I’m (basically) Tik Tok Famous

Step aside folks, I'm famous. I'm fucking Tik Tok royalty and I'm proud to be here (kind of). I've been secretly posting on Tik Tok for a few months now, slowly gaining followers, watching my views and likes go up and up. And not telling anyone I know because I was so god damn embarrassed. …

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Kidz Bop Covered Truth Hurts by Lizzo and the Lyric Changes Are Both Amazing and Atrocious

We all know I'm a Lizzo stan, but did you know your girl used to be a Kidz Bop stan?? This was mostly because my parents are wildly overprotective and didn't want us listening to swears. Me, my siblings, and my cousins would perform music videos and Kidz Bop, Now That's What I Call Music, …

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Celibate and The Suburbs: No New (boy)Friends

Wow, another sad post from Sarah about how she's single. Barf. Just so you're aware, I'm just as annoyed with me as you are. But the evil content machine that is internet stardom demands blogs, so here's a god damn blog about the only thing I'm an expert on: being sad and alone. In the …

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@KFCBarstool got in a Twitter Fight with the entire country of Serbia and it’s hilarious.

Alright, saddle up fuckers. KFC, if you're reading this, what's up. To everyone else, hey. Everyone knows I want to work at Barstool, and today on radio, Kevin made, what I think might have been a joke, saying if someone compiled the best tweets from his war with Serbia, he would consider them for an …

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Biracial Booty Was Featured In Cosmopolitan Magazine !!!!

Picture this. I'm sitting on the toilet, scrolling through Twitter, when I receive this text: I hadn't texted anything particularly outlandish in that group chat, so I truly had no clue what this could be about. Then she sends me this picture: That is me, my college roommates, and that is the Cosmo website. Cosmo …

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